Communication is a very delicate balance. It is an interaction between people that requires a lot of different functions to come together. In order for us to navigate through the world, we rely on communication. It can build and destroy a relationship before even being defined as such. We use skills built early in life to understand language, slang, and external contexts. When all of these skills come together it is a beautiful interaction. When they don't, bad things can happen!
After dinner tonight, I decided that we needed to go and have an "ice cream" treat. We loaded up and went to our local Orange Leaf Yogurt Shoppe. After enjoying our little excursion, we loaded back up in Dain's truck. Dain was getting Carter placed into his car seat, and this in itself is a chore. Carter is 3 years old, 43 inches tall and 43 lbs. All of the car seats say that for his size he should just be in a booster, but again, he is only 3! Carter has the mind of a 3 year old (the smart ass of a 40 yr old) and the body of a 6 year old. Giving him commands to do something are challenging, but physically making him can be even more so. In being a good wife (and Southern Lady as earlier explained) I'm in the front seat with my feet hurting from wearing heels all day, and just overall tired from having a cold over the weekend. The following conversation is what I heard:
"Carter get in your seat. Carter, I said get in your seat. Come on."-Dain
***Rustling as Carter listens and does as asked***
"I'm gonna dig in your butt."-Carter
"You're gonna what?!?"-Dain
"I'm gonna dig in your butt, Daddy!"-Carter
"What did you say? Why would you say that?!?"-Dain (frantically)
What I know about this conversation but Dain does not, is that Carter is referring to the bottom of the harness in his car seat that typically is under his butt rather than between his legs like most kids. SO, in order for us to get to it to strap together the 5-point harness, we must "dig in his butt."
Moral of the story: What seems logical to one, can shake another to their core!!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Sum of All Fears
As parents, we all know the greatest fear that we carry from the moment our children are born. The fear that something will happen to them and that they will be hurt or possibly the unspeakable. Being the mother of a child who was born with heart defects, I learned this fear all too early. I have hovered and coddled and all of the other things that us mothers do under the realm of "protection." I am constantly reminded (by people whom I excuse, due to their lack of understanding) that I must let Carter live and explore and be more strict on him. Daily I try to remind myself all of the things that I said I "did NOT" want in a child, and attempt to raise him accordingly. Also, let's not forget that my profession as a Marriage and Family Therapist who works with "at risk youth" to modify behavior, puts a lot of pressure on me to be perfect. With that said, tonight I was briefly faced with one of my greatest fears:
After treating ourselves to dinner at a local restaurant, we headed home with full bellies. Dain offered Carter a soft sugar mint that he had retrieved from the checkout and, like all children, Carter thought this was candy at its highest regard and went to ripping the paper and shoved it in his mouth like he does every time. About halfway home, we heard Carter choking. I panicked, yelling for Dain to pull over while ripping off my seat belt in an attempt to get into the back seat. After being slung around (because Dain did exactly as instructed), the truck stopped....along with time. I couldn't find anything in the dark. I frantically grabbed and reached for the handle on the door, but couldn't find it! I was hollering Carter's name, expletives at the missing handle, and inside just praying that he would be ok. Now, although we are not at a "call 911" point in the situation, I am a dramatic mother. Yeah, ok, I said it!! My name is Crystal and I am dramatic. Us Southern Belles can't possibly have all this charm without a little drama. *and I digress* Finally, I am able to open the door (I'm thinking the second "F" word did the trick) and I rushed to the back, snatching at everything. It is at this point that you learn exactly how safe a 5-point harness system is for children. If a raging "momma bear" can't get it off, then it will survive a crash. I feel as though I am fighing against a Sumo wrester while under the influence because NOTHING is working for me. I finally get to Carter and sit him up while sternly patting and rubbing his back. By this time his face is coming back to a deep red and he is starting to breathe at a more productive pace (unlike me who hasn't stopped to breathe since the beginning of all of this). With tears streaming down his face, and gasping for air, he looks at Dain and says.....................
Can I have another piece of candy?
After treating ourselves to dinner at a local restaurant, we headed home with full bellies. Dain offered Carter a soft sugar mint that he had retrieved from the checkout and, like all children, Carter thought this was candy at its highest regard and went to ripping the paper and shoved it in his mouth like he does every time. About halfway home, we heard Carter choking. I panicked, yelling for Dain to pull over while ripping off my seat belt in an attempt to get into the back seat. After being slung around (because Dain did exactly as instructed), the truck stopped....along with time. I couldn't find anything in the dark. I frantically grabbed and reached for the handle on the door, but couldn't find it! I was hollering Carter's name, expletives at the missing handle, and inside just praying that he would be ok. Now, although we are not at a "call 911" point in the situation, I am a dramatic mother. Yeah, ok, I said it!! My name is Crystal and I am dramatic. Us Southern Belles can't possibly have all this charm without a little drama. *and I digress* Finally, I am able to open the door (I'm thinking the second "F" word did the trick) and I rushed to the back, snatching at everything. It is at this point that you learn exactly how safe a 5-point harness system is for children. If a raging "momma bear" can't get it off, then it will survive a crash. I feel as though I am fighing against a Sumo wrester while under the influence because NOTHING is working for me. I finally get to Carter and sit him up while sternly patting and rubbing his back. By this time his face is coming back to a deep red and he is starting to breathe at a more productive pace (unlike me who hasn't stopped to breathe since the beginning of all of this). With tears streaming down his face, and gasping for air, he looks at Dain and says.....................
Can I have another piece of candy?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Save the Drama for Yo Momma
My son. He's intelligent, handsome, quick-witted, and DRAMATIC. Let me introduce you to Aiden "Carter" Boyd through an glimpse into our home:
I have struggled with weight my entire life and decided that when I had a child that I would do everything possible to help him develop healthy eating habits. Apparently, God had other things in mind when he gave me Carter. Carter, since birth, has been the funniest eater and has taken issue with almost every food at some point. He struggled with baby food, and then as the stages progressed, so did his ability to spit food at me! He was late in eating regular food and didn't conquer chewy foods until almost 2. As I have watched his friends at daycare overcome the obsticles of vegtables, meats, and even gum, my sweet Carter has never tasted a doughnut. WHAT?!?, you say! How could a child who is 3 1/2 not have enjoyed some of the more finer sweets in life? This is where I can only say "Here's Carter" in my best Ed McMahon impression!! I struggle daily to get him to eat anything other than pizza and popcorn chicken. And to all of you who's children eat what you give them, YES I have tried letting him go to bed hungry. That's exactly what he does; goes to bed hungry!! I have tried to keep the meals as balanced as possible, mixing protiens and carbs (and yes I have justified a lunchable in this, sue me!!)
So tonight, as we get ready to cheer on the New Orleans Saints in round one of the playoffs, Dain's at work, and I cleaned and put up Christmas decorations all day, I did not want to cook (Again, sue me!). I stooped. I caved. I offered him pb&j for supper. I don't know about you, but as a kid and adult, that's like dessert for a meal. As I am mixing the two in a bowl to spread on his bread, he comes, ever so curious, to see what it looks like. As I should have expected, he started crying and telling me he doesn't like that and he only wants peanut butter. What? I know this can't be true! How can I prove him wrong? I'm sick of this non-sense! So, without hesitation, I cornered him in the kitchen, held his cheeks, and shoved the spoonful into his mouth. And.....he spit it right back at me!
All I could think is, what a rude, defiant, spoiled little.... and before I could finish my trail of thoughts that I would later have to ask God for forgiveness on, he licked his lips. I held my breath in sheer hope that I had won this battle. He licked them again. Then as if none of the prior battle had taken place, he said, "Yeah, I do like that! Momma, I do like that, it's good!" VICTORY IS MINE!! So, as I approach the playoffs tonight on cloud nine, I can only imagine what I can accomplish tomorrow.
I have struggled with weight my entire life and decided that when I had a child that I would do everything possible to help him develop healthy eating habits. Apparently, God had other things in mind when he gave me Carter. Carter, since birth, has been the funniest eater and has taken issue with almost every food at some point. He struggled with baby food, and then as the stages progressed, so did his ability to spit food at me! He was late in eating regular food and didn't conquer chewy foods until almost 2. As I have watched his friends at daycare overcome the obsticles of vegtables, meats, and even gum, my sweet Carter has never tasted a doughnut. WHAT?!?, you say! How could a child who is 3 1/2 not have enjoyed some of the more finer sweets in life? This is where I can only say "Here's Carter" in my best Ed McMahon impression!! I struggle daily to get him to eat anything other than pizza and popcorn chicken. And to all of you who's children eat what you give them, YES I have tried letting him go to bed hungry. That's exactly what he does; goes to bed hungry!! I have tried to keep the meals as balanced as possible, mixing protiens and carbs (and yes I have justified a lunchable in this, sue me!!)
So tonight, as we get ready to cheer on the New Orleans Saints in round one of the playoffs, Dain's at work, and I cleaned and put up Christmas decorations all day, I did not want to cook (Again, sue me!). I stooped. I caved. I offered him pb&j for supper. I don't know about you, but as a kid and adult, that's like dessert for a meal. As I am mixing the two in a bowl to spread on his bread, he comes, ever so curious, to see what it looks like. As I should have expected, he started crying and telling me he doesn't like that and he only wants peanut butter. What? I know this can't be true! How can I prove him wrong? I'm sick of this non-sense! So, without hesitation, I cornered him in the kitchen, held his cheeks, and shoved the spoonful into his mouth. And.....he spit it right back at me!
All I could think is, what a rude, defiant, spoiled little.... and before I could finish my trail of thoughts that I would later have to ask God for forgiveness on, he licked his lips. I held my breath in sheer hope that I had won this battle. He licked them again. Then as if none of the prior battle had taken place, he said, "Yeah, I do like that! Momma, I do like that, it's good!" VICTORY IS MINE!! So, as I approach the playoffs tonight on cloud nine, I can only imagine what I can accomplish tomorrow.
Friday, January 6, 2012
A New Year, A New....
So like many, with the coming of a new year, I contemplate what 2012 will hold. I think about my family and whether I want to expand.....or condense! Lose weight.... or just save for a tummy tuck. Stop drinking.... or drink more often. Something feels new and fresh this year and it makes me wonder what is in store. Will I get a promotion? Will I win the lottery? Or, will it just be more of the same? More of the life that I have known and loved for many, many years. One where I have learned to expect the belly laughs after a fart, or the "my truck needed to be painted" but only the carpet seemed to get the colorings of blue, orange, purple, and green. Carter has definitely taught me not to take things too serious. So, here's to a new year, a new adventure, and a new habit (will let you know when I decide)!
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