"We Had An Incident"

Incident is a kind word that means "nothing good." So when I picked Carter up from school today and was told by the daycare director "we had an incident today", I held my breath.  All I could think was "Damn it, Carter. What now?" Of course I would never say that out loud, but let's be honest, that's what we think every time the word "incident" appears.  I waited; ready for anything.  I was told ever so solemnly that Carter pulled his pants down in front of other students a few times this morning and "she had to have a talk with him." I was shocked! My Carter? Of all of the stunts he's pulled, being a voyeur hasn't been on the top of the list.  I assured her that I had not seen that kind of behavior at home, and that I agreed to the idea that "it's not acceptable behavior." As I bent down and began my "Momma talk" with Carter about what I envisioned as him pulling his shorts and underwear down to show his privates, I had an epiphany.  The embarrassment overwhelms me, but I DARE not show it.  Like a rush of wind (coming over a sewer plant) it hits me like a ton of bricks.  My child was not pulling his pants/underwear all the way down.....he was MOONING them!!

As I strapped him into his seat in the car, I composed myself.  I straightened my face; hardened my gaze; looked him dead in the eye.  And while trying to be serious, I asked the looming question.  "Carter, did you show your booty-butt (his language, not mine) at school today?" He grinned. He grinned so big that it turned straight into a chuckle and he said, "Yeah Momma and it was so funny!" How can I compete with this? What I wanted to do was completely opposite of what I knew I needed to do.  The image of Carter pulling down his pants just enough to show a little crack for a laugh was absolutely hilarious to me.  But, I conceded to the moment and did my best attempt at remaining serious.  As I began to explain that "showing people our booty butt is not nice", I am met with eyes of confusion and a grand "IT'S NOT?!?".  He knew I was lying.  He knew that this was considered funny in any other situation, and truly couldn't understand what I was saying.  So with a blank stare, as if to just play along, he shrugged his shoulders and mechanically stated "ok Momma".